Welcome to the Journey blog hop around the UK, Canada and the United States. We are a group of ladies who met through an online business course and other creative courses.
We have chosen Journey as the theme for this blog hop. It’s a word that can be interpreted spiritually, physically, literally and creatively and we hope you will enjoy your journey as you hop around our blogs.
Here’s your itinerary:
Nana <—-You are Here!
My Journey from Insanity to Sanity
It is said that when a person does the same thing over and over expecting different results – they are considered to be INSANE! and before you decide to click off the page because I am declaring myself officially insane, I ask that you please stay for just a bit..
This is the story of how I walked from insanity to sanity… from hopelessness to being joy-filled… from a nobody to being fully accepted and loved by the ONLY ONE that matters.
I don’t know about you, but I had deceived myself to believe that if only I was a bit skinnier, a bit prettier, a bit more prepared, or simply did a bit more – then somehow I would be OK. For years I have carried the burden of having to BE the “perfect” picture of everything I admired:
- a great mom
- the perfect wife
- the best business woman
- the holiest of Christians
- the best artist…
- (you get the idea!)
All along my walk through life, I found myself picking up more and more titles I needed to excel in – only to end up feeling overwhelmed, disappointed, and ashamed. I would spend time looking at others who seemed to have it all together and I would try to conform myself to their standards by doing what they do.
Have you ever done that? Have you ever looked at someone you admire and decided: “I want to be just like her!”? Well, I did that often. In the process I found myself more lost than found. It wasn’t until recently that I truly began to understand who I am not – which in turn allowed to me see who “I AM” is.
The Bible says that those who lose their life will find it- that those who die will live. Although I cannot say that I have it all figured out, I am finally free to be me. I realized that in my search to be the “best” in this world, the one with all the attention and the glory – I lost my capability of being just that.
I was created to be ME…
- not another artist
- not another entrepreneur
- not another mommy or wife…
God formed me in my mother’s womb for one purpose: to glorify Him – not myself.
God is most glorified, when I am most satisfied in Him, and when I live my life trying to find satisfaction in anything other than Him – I lose my ability to see and understand Him.
So my journey has been long. Like the Israelites, I have wandered in the desert hoping to reach my promised land… until now!
For the first time in years I am not afraid!
I am clear now in who I am and what matters. I am willing to boldly find my satisfaction in Christ without having to straddle the line because of my huge fear of being rejected. Whether or not you like me is of no importance to me – not because somehow I am better than you, but because I am clear that there is nothing about me to like. Everything good in me has been a gift, and so all I have to boast in is Christ!
Do you want to know the crazy part? (yes it gets crazier)
The moment I finally came to terms with the truth about who I am not (because I am NOT the best mommy, artist, wife, entrepreneur, or anything for that matter), I found the freedom to finally see the One who thinks the world of me! I am dearly loved in spite of me. I am accepted as if I have ALWAYS obeyed… I am called his daughter and He sees me as if I never have sinned!
For a person with a record like mine, THAT is freedom!
So, this is the journey I have begun –
I am committed to live out loud as I seek my satisfaction in Christ – and I want to take you for the ride. I have told the Lord that I will forever serve Him, love Him, and obey Him. Will you dare to join me as I embark on this journey?
The longest journey a man must take is the eighteen inches from his head to his heart”
My project is not complete because my journey has just recently begun…
Will you dare to share your journey with me?
Leave me a comment with the story of your journey. I want to know how the Lord has been working in your life… 🙂
Thank you for walking through this journey with us… It has been a true blessing to have you visit! 😉
Love in Christ,
Nana
Thanks for joining in with the blog hop. Thanks for sharing your personal journey with us all and being so vulnerable
Thank you Bernice for organizing this! 😉 it was a great blessing. Love u tons!
beautiful way to describe your journey. Love the twine heart. Isn’t it so freeing when we finally discover that the person we are meant to be all along is ourselves? And that our most important work is to glorify our Almighty God?
Paula, indeed it is a wonderful thing. I thought I had already experienced this, but like Job I can now say: I had heard of you Lord- but now I SEE you. :). Love u tons!
Thank you for sharing Nana. We all strive so hard in directions we were never intended to strive. Learning who we are in Christ is so freeing. Learning that He is happy with us as we are and we don’t need to change to be like someone else gives us so much peace. Peace to be who we are and who we were meant to be. Thank you for reminding me to be the best ME that I can be.
Thank you Susan for your kind words! It has truly been a blessing to finally begin to see a God who has always been there for me! 🙂
You write beautifully, because it is obviously from your heart. Your journey sounds so much like mine. I spent so much of my life in turmoil – envy of others, shame about who I was, never being “good” enough. I found sanity in Jesus – not that hard times don’t continue; sometimes it’s just the old tapes playing over again. That I am a beautiful, wonderful person – not matter what I have done or can’t do. What freedom there is in that! Thank you for sharing some of your faith journey.
Gina, you are so right about the hardships not stopping, but there is something so amazing about the peace that surpasses all understanding when you do experience trials and tribulations! Thank you for taking the time to share a part of your story as well. The fact that your story is similar to mine reminds me of the Scripture that talks about how the turmoil we experience is meant to be the way we will later be able to comfort others. May the Lord use your story for that same very reason! 🙂
Oh Nana, how much I identify with what you say. The cry of ‘I can never reach the expectations I place on myself’, the insidious whispering of depression condemning me; the freedom in realising that I will never make it on my own is true, but that I don’t have to; the joy in discovering that God does not want me to be anyone but me, that He designed me to be uniquely me.
I forget it all often, I get tied up in knots. I am currently unpicking one now, but this is a wonderful reminder to me of the truth that I know…that when God looks at what he has designed and made he says ‘It is good’.
Love the thought of “when God looks at what He has created, He says it is good!”. Love that indeed we are so dearly loved! 🙂 thanks for your vulnerability in sharing with me! Love u tons!
hi nana!i’m still here! still learning to BE, still seeking to know Him more, to be fully satisfied in Him.
Love you!
Lori
Hi Lori! Loving the fact that u stopped by and that you are still… May the Lord meet all of your needs- may He bless you with the full knowledge of Himself! 😉 mua! 🙂
Hi Nana,
Thank you for sharing your story. You sound like me always looking for someone´s approval, always wanting to fit it and never feeling like I ever did. I am learning to live every day in Joy as to live in JOY no matterr what the circumstances is a choice. I can have a “bad” day and still live in joy as Christ brings joy to my heart no matter what I am going through as long as I know and will let Him handle it and believe that He will. There are days I may struggle but as long as God is my top priority I can find joy and peace in Him and know that He FASHIONED me to be who I am.
God Bless you!
Lov, Audrey
Audrey, it brings such comfort to know that I am not the only lady that experiences this. I loved how you said that as long as you keep God your priority – you can find joy. That is EXACTLY what I discovered. That it is only when I make Him my priority, and when I seek to make much of me – mysteriously I am filled with exactly what I need… 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing your story with me! Love your vulnerable boldness!
🙂 Love u tons!
Nana, you are such an inspiration and I have often thought of you on my own journey as I came across your site at the end of 2011. This year, near to the end of March, the Lord called me back to a place where I was hurt spiritually and emotionally by a few people in a church where I was planted. God has had me writing up to 5 times a week back at the old church. I pull up across the way on the road where it still stands and seek Him. I journal what He tells me to write about and through this, I have received my complete freedom from a lot of baggage…He has also revealed to me that myself and two other Christian friends are heading into a new ‘Women’s Retreat Ministry’….your selected verse regarding ‘beauty from ashes’ is the scripture at the centre of the whole ministry.
Thank you for being so free and open to share your journey…that others may find theirs.
God Bless xx
Annie, I am always humbled to know that anything about me can inspire others to walk closer to the Lord! I think it is amazing that the Lord has taken you out of the pit as He removed the ashes and turned them into beauty. It is wonderful that you are faithfully going to begin the journey of blessing others through a ministry. I will keep you in my prayers dear sister! Keep me up to date with the ministry. Would love to hear more about it… ;). Thanks for sharing your story! Love u lots! 🙂
“It’s never too late to find out who you want to be” I came across this words yesterday and I wonder who or what do I want to be, really have no clue. I hope I will hear His voice and find the answer so I can stop leaving in the past and enjoy today. Thanks for sharing. xoxo
Gisela, my heart goes out to you! I know exactly what you are going through… I too was there about a year ago. I will be praying for you, for now I know that the main purpose that was given to man is that of seeking God first- everything else will be added to us. May He give you eyes to see His Glory, so that you would dare to find your purpose and meaning in Him! :). Thanks for being transparent! It takes lots of boldness.. ;). Love u tons!
I love that we are on the same type of journey. My freedom in Christ is allowing me to be me and that is pretty awesome! Looking forward to continuing this journey with you!
Thank you for being open to sharing your story, sweet sister. All we are and shoukd want to be is in Him. I cling to Him through it all – good and bad – knowing He is in everything – I am because He is the great I AM. Bless you sweet sister – I will continue to pray for you and know you will do the same. Hugs – Kim