Growing is an inevitable process in life. It is true that everything that is alive will grow, but that growth can look different depending on who is doing the growing.  My children tend to complain of aches and pains in their extremities often.  They are now 8 and 9 years old – and I always remind them that growing pains are simply a part of becoming who the Lord intended them to be.  Little do they know that the growing pain they currently experience in their bodies, will soon also be felt in their soul as they sort out through the events and choices they will have to live through.

I recently started to allow myself to be creative again – to speak in the language of colors and not simply words.  There is something to be said about letting go of all control and allowing the Lord to take over the creative process.   I guess you can say that I am allowing myself to be vulnerable again; giving myself permission to be moldable and reachable.

As I sketched the sunflower in this page, every line reminded me of the different paths I have taken in life.  Some have been very straight, but others have been filled with curves and sharp turns that many times caused me to completely head in the opposite direction I was headed to.

Yet, as I started filling in the blank spaces with color, something beautiful emerged: ALL of my life (every single event) has had a purpose. The Great Sculptor knew exactly where He was laying the boundaries that would form the image He had decided to engrave in me.  The colors He has chosen to lay out before me (whether dark or light) have been placed EXACTLY where they belong in order to have His Glory shine forth.

When I decided to outline the petals with the markers so that the details of each petal would stand out, I was reminded of the many times it feels like I am right back where I started with certain seasons in my life I simply do not wish to relive as often as I do.  

But, when I finished going over each of those lines over and over again, I realized that each stroke of my hand made the beauty of the flower stand out even more.

As my Great Artist continues to paint the canvas of my life, I hear Him whisper “Be Strong and Courageous. Be Brave – for the Gospel is growing and bearing fruit.”  (Joshua 4:1-4 and Colossians 1:6 )  Regardless of what may come my way, His Truths remain the same.  Even the difficult things that I may have to endure are a part of His huge plan – where the Gospel grows and hopefully bears lots of fruit in me and those around me.

His plans are greater than mine – and though I don’t always understand them, I know that He is for me and not against me. My Father – my Creator, my Redeemer lives – and He chooses broken vessels to showcase His Strength.

May the Gospel continue to bear fruit and grow in you this week.

Love in Christ,

Nana

General Supplies: 
Faber Castell Markers and Colored Pencils (Email me for specific colors)
Beautiful Word Bible
Me & My big Ideas Planner Stickers

Good news always make my day!  There is just something wonderful about receiving news that make your heart hopeful.  So far in life I have had the privilege of living through some pretty amazing news, but NONE compares to the news I received the day I attempted to commit suicide.

Depression is a tricky disease because somehow it takes over areas of your mind you never thought were even at risk.  Humans are built naturally to survive. If you tried to hold your breath for more than 50 seconds, your heart would begin to pump faster while every cell in your body would desperately beg for air. Even if you tried with all of your might, your body would find a way to intake the air it desperately longs for in order to function properly.  In contrast, suicide is the result of a manipulating thought process a mind entertains while depressed.  Depression convinces its victim into believing that dying is a better option than the natural instinct to survive.

When I considered suicide, I genuinely was convinced that there was no hope – no forgiveness – no chance that anything that I felt was ever going to get better or go away.  I stood in my dorm’s bathroom (knife in hand) thinking to myself “My life is not worth living.”

Up to that point I had never “felt” loved.  My family tried hard to make me “feel” loved, but depression has a way of causing you to become numb to the things that you long for and very sensitive to the things you want to run away from.  So that day, while in the bathroom, I was surprised to finally “feel” loved when I encountered Jesus while reading His word.

The Good News that I could have life abundant in spite of the chains and sin I carried came forth like a tidal wave.  That night I “felt” loved in ways I could not have even dreamed of.  It was as if His very hand was caressing and healing areas of my heart I desperately wanted to rip out.  At no point did He shy away from the hideous condition He found my heart in – instead I heard Him say:

“Restrain your voice from weeping
and your eyes from tears,
How long will you wander,
unfaithful Daughter Israel?” Jeremiah 31: 16, 22

The journey has not been always smooth, but in my glass tunnel I am no longer alone.  He has filled my cup with joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.  And when I fall, I hear His sweet voice say:

“Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool. – Isaiah 1:1

It is true that we have all fallen short of the Glory of God – we are all sinners.  It is true that I have missed the mark and will continue to miss it.  It is true that my sin separates me from God, yet I continue to willingly sin – but the Good News do not change:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9

I don’t know about you, but knowing that I am forgiven and cleansed from the things I have repented of opens up my heart to receive the love I was incapable of receiving before.  My prayer is that somehow the Lord would grab the mess I once had and make it His message. The Good News is that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him would not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16).

I may not have many things, but what I have is enough for eternity.

Love in Christ,

NAna